Monthly Archives: June 2012

Jun 19

Common Causes Of a Sexless Marriage

By Dustin | Sex & Family Planning

Sexless MarriageIn recent years, more stories and reports of sexless marriages appear in the media.

This is not because the prevalence of such marriages has risen, but due to the fact that we, as a society, have become more open in discussing this issue. I’ve even seen stories about the sexless relationships of various celebrities, which goes to show how mainstream this topic has become.

And it should be mainstream because sexless marriages are much more common than you would suppose. According to a survey done a few years ago, more than 15% of couples have sex less than 10 times a year, the criterion for being classified in the sexless marriage group.

So, we know that this is a common problem, but why?

What causes a Sexless Marriage?

There are a few known culprits:

1. Physical issues – various medications may lead to side effects which include a loss of libido. In addition, surgery to the pelvic area and numerous medical conditions may also disrupt a person’s sex drive or their ability to have sexual intercourse. It is important to discuss this issue with your doctor.

2. Stress – The ultimate mood killer is stress. It can take on many forms: economic stress, fatigue-induced stress, excessive workload, and so on.

Being in the mood for intimacy requires a certain calmness. Being under too much stress can place a great strain on any relationship. In today’s fragile economy, excessive stress and anxiety are more common, which may lead to even more sexless marriages.

3. Fatigue – There’s a reason why many couples report that the frequency of their lovemaking plummets in the first year after having a baby. All those nights of disrupted sleep and endless crying can take their toll. When you or your spouse are exhausted, sex may become less common.

4. Lack of variety and excitement – The excitement of a new relationship is like no other. For many couples, maintaining a similar level of excitement is a challenge that they fail to meet. Many marriages grow stale due to lack of variety and excitement in the bedroom and out of it. This can lead to a sexless relationship and make the relationship less stable as a whole.

5. An affair – When either the wife or husband have an affair, the damage to their love-life can be big. This doesn’t just happen when the affair is exposed and one spouse’s feelings are hurt by the action of the other, but may also occur while the affair is concealed.

There is only so much sexual energy and attention that a person can give. If this energy is expended outside the marriage, little of it is left.

6. An unresolved fight – A fierce argument or a fight that has not been adequately resolved can lead to a continual rift in a marriage. In such cases, the lack of sex can be a form of punishment due to the hurt feelings and anger resulting from such a past fight.

What can you do to fix your sexless marriage or prevent one from happening in the first place

1. Make sure that you’re both healthy and aren’t taking any medications which may be lowering your sex drive.
2. Maintain a calm and relaxed atmosphere at home and work to relieve each other’s stress.
3. Make time for lovemaking. It is an integral part of marriage and should be treated as such.
4. Be open to new things.
5. Keep the lines of communication open between you two and be ready to resolve problems as they arise.

If you do all that, there’s a good chance that you will enjoy a healthy sex life and a good marriage.

Have you had any experience with a sexless marriage – any advice you can share in the comments?

Kate Dixon is the author of Fix Your Sexless Marriage, a program that offers sexless marriage advice for men and women who wish to improve their marriage.

Jun 06

Eat Your Heart Out: A Date Night That Will Feed Your Stomach and Your Relationship

By Dustin | Romance

Note: I love Rachael’s blog, and this guest post is super helpful for busy couples looking to make date night special with food. Don’t miss her posts over at Fit Marriage where she will show you how to eat more veggies (and like it!), get out of the diet mindset and eat powerful food!

It’s Friday.

You know it’s date night, but the week was so busy, chaotic, and stressful that you haven’t put in any time to think about what you’ll do.

You’ve really been looking forward to spending time with your loved one and you even promised you’d come up with the plan for date night this time. But the truth is that it’s now 3:00 in the afternoon and you haven’t thought of it once since your last date night.

You’re a little embarrassed and know that you very well can’t reschedule the babysitter, because you’ve had her booked for a month. You just want to stay in and have a quiet evening, but don’t want to seem like you didn’t put in any effort.

Does this sound familiar to you? Are you guilty of this happening maybe once or twice?

Whether you’ve had a stressful week or are just trying to get some quality time with your partner without the distractions of waiters refilling your glass every few minutes, date night can still happen, be personal, and enjoyable without having to put in a ton of effort!

Before you come clean that you haven’t developed an elaborate plan, consider the following date night idea that will keep the conversation flowing. You’ll be certain to have a good time without having to leave the house!

Bring your date night home with a simple tasting date!

Follow these four simple steps to that make you look like you had it planned all along:

1. Determine your food of choice that you’ll serve at your tasting.

Do both you and your partner rave over chocolate? Wine? Cheese? Select one food item you both like and frame your tasting around this.

2. Purchase three to four different varieties of your tasting food.

You can choose different types, like different percentages of chocolate – some milk and some dark. Or three varieties of red wine, like a merlot, pinot noir, and syrah. Or choose to purchase the same item in different brands, like different brands of cheddar cheese or different brands of 60% chocolate bars.

3. Once you have your purchases home, set up a tasting station.

If you’re serving chocolate, break the bars in to bite sized squares and arrange on a serving platter. With wine, set out the glasses, bottles, and bottle opener. With cheese, set them out on a platter with a knife or cut into bite sized pieces.

You can hold the tasting “blindly” or set the packaging out so you know which item corresponds to which package.

4. Start eating and talking!

Talk with your partner about how each one tastes, looks, smells, and the texture. Savor each bite and think about what you enjoy and don’t enjoy about each one.

Use this as an opportunity to connect with your partner and talk about the different properties you like or don’t like about each one. Share your favorites and settle in for an evening of conversation and a full belly.

It can be easy to give up on date night when we’ve had a tough week, but date night doesn’t have to be elaborate or given up on when you haven’t thought it out too far in advance. Taking the time to swing by the store on your way home can have you ready and set for a fantastic date night in even on the hardest of days!

What are some of your favorite last minute date ideas?  Share in the comments!

Rachael is the blogger behind KitchenCourses.com and is the author of How to Cook For Yourself: A Complete Beginner’s Guide. She writes about her passion for food, eating well while saving money, and inspires people to get familiar with their kitchens and cook for themselves.